relationships that last: lessons in communication, part 2

Continued from Part 1

why we do not listen

The world is busy. Information pounds us from every direction. Because we are focused on a task or a problem, we justify that some things are not worth listening. With our busy lives, we are too exhausted to focus on anything else. We do not really hear what is being said, and this is particularly troublesome with our close personal relationships.

obstacles to being a good listener

1. Disinterest. I have no interest in what our partner has to say
2. Distracted. Often something our partner said makes us think of something else.
3. I am just waiting for my turn to talk. What I have to say is more valuable than what you share.
4. I disagree with what you say. My points will convince you I am right.
5. “The fixer”. I know how to help; I can tell you where and how to fix your issue.
6. “The judge”. Every conversation is my chance to overrule you and correct the facts.
7. Lacking forgiveness. Built up resentment for past hurts blocks the ability and desire to listen to the other.

For reflection:

Which of these obstacles to listening tempts you most?

Which of these obstacles to listening tempts your partner?