mothers and sons

Only mothers can think of the future – because they give birth to it in their children.

Maxim Gorky

I could not be happier for our now-grown children to have a great relationship with their mother. I witness this on several occasions.

Our youngest son Matt is the one who followed in his mother’s footsteps into a healthcare career. More than either of his brothers, he has weathered adversity through his Twenties, and has come through stronger and more determined. His advocate, adviser and role model mother is the one he calls to encourage and be encouraged. Our eldest son, Chris, and his wife Mandy call her to set up time for us to spend with our grandson. Chris, like me, used a military enlistment of four years, in his mid-Twenties, to shape his future opportunities, finances, career and family. Being the closest geographically -a few miles away – gives his mother comfort particularly to help them when asked. His next youngest brother’s frequent travels between Los Angeles and San Diego always include a sleepover weekend visit with mom. Tom, like me, is an extrovert, loving to spend time with his brother, sister-in-law, and nephew, friends and us. To get our couch back, I think my wife and I decided to put a bed for him in our grandchild “playroom”. That is the room we converted from Matt’s bedroom to “random stuff” room to Gramma’s toy storage room. Anyway, the point is that sometimes he comes in after I have gone to bed. Around midnight, or in the early morning (both my wife and her sons are night owls), I wake to hear them chatting and sometimes laughing together. I will roll over and go back to sleep.

A recent weekend morning was one time that I came out to join Tommy and his mother. Like his maternal uncles, some childhood friends and us know him as Tommy but to others simply as Tom. I saw that Tom had leashed both dogs and they were anticipating going out for a walk. Everybody was standing as though they were about to start the morning routine but they were still chatting. I got a cup of coffee. Mother and son continued to talk. Comet lay back down. Dexter sat down and yawned. Chuckling softly, I walked back down the hall. It might be a while before the dogs head out the door. But it gave me something to blog today.

Parenting is not all single-parenting, nor is any one parent more equipped to be coach, mentor, and role model than another. Some absolutely amazing, godly men have children carry on their example of humility, integrity, dedication and resilience. But l was adopted by marriage into the family. Raised mostly by my own mother, I do not begrudge our grown sons close relationship to their mother. Mothers impart not just their DNA but their hopes for the future into their children.

Author’s note: If “iron sharpens iron”, a biblical proverb, then a reader’s suggestions are a path to better blogging. Republished today as an improved version of the blog post from a few days ago. I hope you will enjoy it. ES

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