Walls

Disappointment is a cancer that slowly eats away at a parent’s strength. Bitterness seeps in to foul my memories of a child full of athletic and good-natured ability, who, as a man, is seeking death through a bottle.

But that’s the jaded stepparent talking. In the months he has spent “recuperating” under our roof, we were hoping serious talks, promises, work, and voluntary therapy would bring back the fun and caring son. But that only enabled him to sink farther with each setback.

I spent part of last night reinforcing gates and walls. I went looking for contraband around the house, and raising my emotional walls. Then I told him he was causing his mother to suffer and he would not be welcome anymore.

His brother found him today unconscious.

Gratefully, we are spared planning a funeral, and may yet see a repentance. However, I am still collecting bricks and mortar.

Advertisements

9 Comments

  1. I read this last night just before going to bed and actually had dreams about the two of you, and the pain you are going through. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to send him on his way. I also can’t imagine how hard it must be knowing that he’s in a downward spiral. But things can turn around sometimes. Let’s hope your stockpile of bricks and mortar will be replaced by a sledgehammer in the future. Sending hopeful hugs to you both.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My friend had a son who was on drugs. She put her foot down and insisted he go to rehab or leave. The first time he left. The second time he stayed and went to rehab. He now holds down a steady job and has bought a home. Another friend allowed her addicted son’s behaviour to continue under her roof. Last I heard he is still an addict.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.