22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. -Proverbs 18
It is twenty years today that I married the love of my life. Two decades on, our marriage is still thriving, happy and loving. While I do not know what advice to give others to have a successful marriage, I do know some of the ingredients, and much experience of what to avoid doing, thinking, or saying.
more than two make a marriage
- 1 SAILOR
- 1 SINGLE MOM/ NURSE
- 2 DOGS (MINE)
- 3 PRETEEN BOYS (HERS)
- JESUS CHRIST
A solid foundation is better than guesswork
Both of us had been married before, yet that was before either of us were refined by Someone greater than ourselves. While many stumble around through life and through relationships, and though some couples do find happiness with each other, my wife and I, now celebrating twenty years of marriage began with a common foundation: total commitment to Jesus Christ as LORD of our lives and our marriage.
Handbook and counseling
Any bookstore has a thousand books to advise on marriage, self-improvement, and “recovery”. Online, there are millions of websites offering their take on what it requires to be successful in marriage. Yet there are millions of pages of things to distract, separate, confuse, and ultimately destroy husbands and wives. Yet there is one “handbook” with timeless wisdom on personal development, marital advice, child-raising, and ethics. It has plenty of personal examples, which, if you learn from their mistakes and others’ success, marriage and happiness can be Eternal. Of course, I am referring to the Bible. Yet for those who believe that this is God-breathed (His Inspired Word), and have faithfully committed to followership, God, Jesus, and the Counselor (His Spirit) will help you preserve a joyful marriage and life – no matter what else is going on.
Mistakes to avoid:
- NOT IN-DEPENDENCE, BUT INTER-DEPENDENCE
- IF YOU THINK YOU’RE RIGHT, COMPROMISE
- NOT HER / HIS KIDS, BUT UNIFIED PARENTING
- IF YOU THINK IT, SEEK ADVICE
- THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK
- DO NOT GO TO BED ANGRY; APOLOGIZE
- MONEY IS NOT EVIL; SPENDING UNWISELY IS
- SELFISHNESS BRINGS RUIN
- IN YOUR LIFE, IF YOUR SPOUSE IS NOT 2ND ONLY TO GOD, REPENT