12 – step vacation detox

“No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one.”
― Elbert Hubbard

The first couple days routine when returning from vacation should be a measured detox for post-vacation depression.  It’s not the work mess you have to fix upon your return that causes people to put off vacation,  it’s the catered-to living, the parties, the dining, and the irresponsibility that one can almost get accustomed to after a week away. Recovery is a step – by – step process:

1. Wake earlier than usual because your body is still on Eastern / Caribbean time (zone).
2.  Shuffle to the kitchen, avoiding dogs in the doorway, hallway and squeaky toy; congratulate yourself that sealegs helped get you by
3. Dump yesterday’s coffee out of your mug; ignore the coffee ring in the mug and reuse
4. Return to kitchen for wife’s coffee; you are room service, going forward
5. Shower without resorting to “navy showering” ; forgo that last week’s unconscious return to “old shipboard habits” in spite of being a cruise ship
6. Ponder what port the cruise ship would be in this morning while you carry your own trash out to the bins
7. Walk the Dexter and Comet down the block and back;  it’s not the 16000 daily steps taken each day on a cruise vacation, but it is a work day, people!
8. Verify the vacation hats, shirts and tourist swag do not still remain in the day pack while you now put cell phone charging cords, office keys and entry badge; the ship’s cruise badge and lanyard will not get you onto your campus.
9. On the way to work, do not accept any incoming calls on your bluetooth car system from your work’s prefix.  They may not like getting cussed out in Jamaican “patois”
10. During the work day select one of three “very urgent” task lists that waited on your return from vacation; all the while quietly hum  Jamaican “put de  lime in de coconut…”)
11. Answer questions about vacation in  three or four-minute sound bites; do not sigh when a response is, “sounds like a great time! now here’s what I need from you today…”
12. At lunch, sneak into your office and close the door;  stare at a selection of possible destinations for my next vacation